You know those "telemarketing" people who "cold call" you? Here are 10 ways to get rid of them fast...
1. When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "I'm so glad you asked because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..."
2 If they say they're Jim Smith from XYZ Ltd, ask them to spell their name, then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.
3. Cry out in surprise, "Sinead! Is that you? Oh my God! Sinead, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Sinead a few brief moments of pause as she tries to figure out where the hell she could know you from.
4. If XYZ calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Circle plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends... would you be my friend?"
5. If they want to loan you money, tell them your company just went bankrupt and you could sure use some money.
6. Tell the telemarketer you are under "house arrest" and ask if they could bring you a sixpack of beer and some crisps.
7. After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.
8. Tell the telemarketer you are far busy at the moment and ask them if they will give you their HOME phone number so you can call them back. When the telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you say "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!"
9. Insist that the caller is really your mate Jimmy, playing a joke. "Come on Jimmy, cut it out! Seriously, Jimmy, how's your mum?"
And first and foremost:
10 Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD down.
Monday, July 31, 2006
Sunday, July 23, 2006
Last Horrah of the Holiday
Fly past
Originally uploaded by Elfleda.
Went to the Duxford Flying Proms last night, I would recommend it to anyone it is a great day out.
British weather being what it is, we had a heat wave and no rain for weeks, I go to an outdoor concert in the middle of an airfield, so no cover any where, it pours down just before the concert starts, stops for the concert and the second the last firework is fired into the air, the heavens open and we all get soaked to the skin. As we drive away it appears that the rain is fairly localised - right above the airfield!!!!! When we got home it did not appear to have rained at all. Sods law eh????????
Anyway back to work on Monday, still only about 6 weeks and I get another week off. =:-)
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Holiday
Boscastle #7
Originally uploaded by Elfleda.
Well the holiday is over for another year and it is back to real life. The holiday was fantastic (side trips to Bristol excluded) the weather was brilliant. I took way too many photos and it is going to take me days to go through them and do a purge on all the not so good shots.
Thanks to all I stayed with I had a great time.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
That'll teach me!!!
So much for my plan to fly to Cornwall as it would be so much quicker!!!!! Due to fog at Newquay Airport we diverted, to BRISTOL!!!!! Then, thanks to the fantastic people I met at the airport who so kindly gave me a lift back to Redruth, which is about a 4 hour drive I finally arrived at my destination at 4.40 AM (the plane was supposed to land at Newquay at 2100). God knows what time I would have got here waiting for the coaches that Ryan Air were trying to get, I would probably still be on my way.
I think that it was cosmic revenge for my environmentaly unfriendly method of travel. Still I have learnt that there are some fantastic people who are willing to help a complete stranger out, so thanks again.
I think that it was cosmic revenge for my environmentaly unfriendly method of travel. Still I have learnt that there are some fantastic people who are willing to help a complete stranger out, so thanks again.
Monday, July 10, 2006
Holiday
New Haircut!!!
Originally uploaded by Elfleda.
Well the hair has been done, the roots are a thing of the past and I am offically on holiday, yipee!!!!
I fly down to Cornwall tonight. I was going to try and have an ecologically sound journey, however.......... the train would have cost approx £150 return and taken approx 7 hours, the car, well probably around £90 for petrol and about 7-8 hours driving. The plane...... £40..... return both flights were 99p plus taxes and I will be door to door in about 4 and a half hours.
So sorry world, my "carbon footprint" will be a little bigger this month, make the other environmently friendly travel options more friendly to my wallet and I would be glad to help.
Friday, July 07, 2006
7/7
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you wake in the morning hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there, I did not die!
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you wake in the morning hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there, I did not die!
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
You can tell its a heatwave when...
This piece in the Guardian today made me laugh out loud. Enjoy.
You can tell it's a heatwave when ...
Lucy Mangan
Tuesday July 4, 2006
The Guardian
1 Hitherto unsuspected tattoos are on display, often requiring wholesale mental readjustment in social perceptions. It is frequently these, rather than the heat, that are making you dizzy.
2 You are unable to face drinking tea or coffee and spend much of your day trying to work out how to caffeinate the water cooler.
3 If you live in the city, the air is visible and has to be cut into manageable chunks before it can be inhaled. If you live in the country, your smug air is visible and you are in danger of being cut into manageable chunks by desperate urban refugees.
4 You come to believe that deodorant is God's own stickful of petrochemical derivatives.
5 The cat is scratching the words "Shave me, shave me" on every available surface. The dog is writing letters of complaint to the design committee that dictated that panting rather than, say, unzippable pelts should be the main method of canine temperature regulation.
6 Sex seems like the worst idea anyone has ever had, ever.
7 A visit to the shops makes you deeply aware of how very far we still are as a nation from embracing the pedicure as a standard component of personal grooming.
8 The bikini is suddenly acceptable office lunch-hour wear, though disconcerting when still worn with tights in order to faciliate the quick change back at two o'clock.
9 Entering the sauna/going on the sunbed gives you goosepimples.
10 The human body finds new and interesting ways to let you down, notably in the way of inner-thigh chafing among women and scrotal sweating among all the others.
11 People rush to book holidays somewhere even hotter.
12 Foreigners walk around in thick coats and long trousers insisting that if this happened at home they would still be huddling round log fires.
13 You suddenly have veins like jungle vines and, if you listen very closely, can hear blood vessels popping under the most minimal physical exertion.
14 You sleep naked and spreadeagled, like a pornographic starfish.
15 You elbow old ladies in the face to get the last electric fan in Comet.
You can tell it's a heatwave when ...
Lucy Mangan
Tuesday July 4, 2006
The Guardian
1 Hitherto unsuspected tattoos are on display, often requiring wholesale mental readjustment in social perceptions. It is frequently these, rather than the heat, that are making you dizzy.
2 You are unable to face drinking tea or coffee and spend much of your day trying to work out how to caffeinate the water cooler.
3 If you live in the city, the air is visible and has to be cut into manageable chunks before it can be inhaled. If you live in the country, your smug air is visible and you are in danger of being cut into manageable chunks by desperate urban refugees.
4 You come to believe that deodorant is God's own stickful of petrochemical derivatives.
5 The cat is scratching the words "Shave me, shave me" on every available surface. The dog is writing letters of complaint to the design committee that dictated that panting rather than, say, unzippable pelts should be the main method of canine temperature regulation.
6 Sex seems like the worst idea anyone has ever had, ever.
7 A visit to the shops makes you deeply aware of how very far we still are as a nation from embracing the pedicure as a standard component of personal grooming.
8 The bikini is suddenly acceptable office lunch-hour wear, though disconcerting when still worn with tights in order to faciliate the quick change back at two o'clock.
9 Entering the sauna/going on the sunbed gives you goosepimples.
10 The human body finds new and interesting ways to let you down, notably in the way of inner-thigh chafing among women and scrotal sweating among all the others.
11 People rush to book holidays somewhere even hotter.
12 Foreigners walk around in thick coats and long trousers insisting that if this happened at home they would still be huddling round log fires.
13 You suddenly have veins like jungle vines and, if you listen very closely, can hear blood vessels popping under the most minimal physical exertion.
14 You sleep naked and spreadeagled, like a pornographic starfish.
15 You elbow old ladies in the face to get the last electric fan in Comet.
Monday, July 03, 2006
I'm a Dog!!
I found out the other day that under the Chinese Horoscope I am a dog, in fact I am a metal dog.
Normally I don't take much notice of horoscopes, the ones I have read for Pisces seem to be all things to all people, however some of the description that I found for the dog sounds about right.
Personality Traits:
People born under the year of the Dog tend to be very well liked as it is one of the most popular of all of the animals.
Dog people are: truthful, clever, with a strong sense of fairness and devotion. They never shirk their duties, they always do their fair share of things and will always "listen to reason".
They would never ignore a distress call, often putting the well-being of others before their own and they never abandon people. Other traits include: open-mindedness, never envious, non money-minded and very adept at seeing straight through others.
However should you try to snoop into their affairs they can become secretive and also give a cold shoulder to those who they don't really like.
They are also: intrepid, practical and "have great insight into human nature". They can be belligerent, gloomy, be anxious for no apparent reason and they absolutely detest pretence.
Inevitabilities are never put on hold, neither is giving a clear-cut answer to something. Above all they are never sly, underhand or crafty.
Metal Dogs are generous, judicious, rigid, motivated by devotion and gracious.
Wikipedia says:
The Dog is the most likeable sign of the Chinese zodiac. Like his animal namesake, he is loyal with a capital "L".
He is the one who people are most likely to turn to when they need help. The dog person will come through every time. That is because he/she is sensitive to others and empathizes with them, particularly if someone has suffered an injustice; he/she reacts quickly with the same feeling as though he/she had been personally offended.
Friends know that they can rely upon their Dog friend to keep a promise or remain cool in a crisis.
Dog types are honest, intelligent and straightforward. They will take on any responsibility that is given to them and you can be sure that they will do their job well.
People born in this year tend to be easily upset and shocked more often than the other more signs.
The dog is loyal yet selfish. Beware of the dragon. Dogs are friends with horses.
Apparently people who are Metal Dogs are more likely to suffer from stress, though some how I don' think that my doctor will think much of that explanation, the next time I get so stressed out, it turns to serious depression again and I end up back on the anti depressents :0)
Normally I don't take much notice of horoscopes, the ones I have read for Pisces seem to be all things to all people, however some of the description that I found for the dog sounds about right.
Personality Traits:
People born under the year of the Dog tend to be very well liked as it is one of the most popular of all of the animals.
Dog people are: truthful, clever, with a strong sense of fairness and devotion. They never shirk their duties, they always do their fair share of things and will always "listen to reason".
They would never ignore a distress call, often putting the well-being of others before their own and they never abandon people. Other traits include: open-mindedness, never envious, non money-minded and very adept at seeing straight through others.
However should you try to snoop into their affairs they can become secretive and also give a cold shoulder to those who they don't really like.
They are also: intrepid, practical and "have great insight into human nature". They can be belligerent, gloomy, be anxious for no apparent reason and they absolutely detest pretence.
Inevitabilities are never put on hold, neither is giving a clear-cut answer to something. Above all they are never sly, underhand or crafty.
Metal Dogs are generous, judicious, rigid, motivated by devotion and gracious.
Wikipedia says:
The Dog is the most likeable sign of the Chinese zodiac. Like his animal namesake, he is loyal with a capital "L".
He is the one who people are most likely to turn to when they need help. The dog person will come through every time. That is because he/she is sensitive to others and empathizes with them, particularly if someone has suffered an injustice; he/she reacts quickly with the same feeling as though he/she had been personally offended.
Friends know that they can rely upon their Dog friend to keep a promise or remain cool in a crisis.
Dog types are honest, intelligent and straightforward. They will take on any responsibility that is given to them and you can be sure that they will do their job well.
People born in this year tend to be easily upset and shocked more often than the other more signs.
The dog is loyal yet selfish. Beware of the dragon. Dogs are friends with horses.
Apparently people who are Metal Dogs are more likely to suffer from stress, though some how I don' think that my doctor will think much of that explanation, the next time I get so stressed out, it turns to serious depression again and I end up back on the anti depressents :0)
Feeling HOT HOT HOT!!!!
Feeling HOT HOT HOT!!!!
Originally uploaded by Elfleda.
We in the lower part of the UK are in the middle of a bit of a heatwave at the moment. This pictute taken yesterday shows the temp in the back garden at quarter past four in the afternoon, it was very very hot.
There has been a heat wave alert issued, though what that is supposed to do I am not sure, maybe the government issue it just to let us know it is hot, as they seem to think we are all very stupid and need to be told these things!!
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